i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we made out on top of his cat.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
