i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize