So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
