I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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