You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
