Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
