that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
