i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dont even know how to be here
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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