Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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