And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
