i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
