I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
