U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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