SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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