the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
