it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
