she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
