You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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