he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
