Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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