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He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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