The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
