He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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