Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
