Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
