...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
