Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
are you so shy because you have an std?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
