Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
