this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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