I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
