i jhust puked up my retainher.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
