The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
