i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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