WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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