i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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