So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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