O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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