If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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