Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
