Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize