Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
