You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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