so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
