The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
