I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
