he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
