You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
