Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
