why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
