he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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