yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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