So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
