Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
