Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
