eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We left the knife in your bed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
