Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
