Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
