dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize