There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
