Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
