Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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